CHOICES

“What if I choose one and you don’t like it? You’ll be upset again.” --- Tong

This is a line from the movie “the Love of Siam” delivered by Tong to his mother. It is a movie about family, acceptance, and choices. It has been tagged as a gay movie because of the relationship between two of its main characters who are both boys. To some, this movie may not be of good taste because it is about the gay community, but if we watch it without prejudice, we will find lesson can be learned from it. I am in no way promoting the gay community nor am I demoting it. It’s just that this movie is so heartwarming and good that I can’t help but talk about it.

Anyway, going back to the line quoted earlier this is, for me, the climax of the movie; and a good lesson to learn. Prior to the delivery of the line was a shocking scene for Tong’s mother. I guess, for any parent, seeing your teenage boy kissing another teenage boy, is really a shocking thing. As a discerning parent, Tong’s mother secretly met with Mew (the other boy in the story). She explicitly requested Mew to not see Tong again, as was expected of a parent. Later that day, Mew did not show himself to both his band rehearsal and dinner engagement with Tong. Knowing that Mew may not show up, Sunee (Tong’s mother) called Tong and offered to get him. When they got home, Tong prepared himself to go to mew’s house only to be halted by his mother. His mother then revealed what happened early that day. Learning what his mother has done, Tong and his mother got into an argument. He left for Mew’s house but when he got there Mew wouldn’t respond to his call. Since that day until the last part of the movie, Tong and Mew didn’t talk to each other. The story goes on and Sunee realizes things. One night, Sunee was decorating the Christmas tree and Tong offered his hand to help. As they were decorating, Tong was choosing between to tree ornaments. Then the question quoted above was placed. The question didn’t only address the indecision about the ornaments but also his future choices.

Often times, we make choices and these choices may be good or bad. Choices are definitely part of our lives whether we are parents, kids, adults, men or women. They are vital in our lives because these choices will shape our future. However, not all our choices are supported by our parents because they have a different view of what the right choice should be. Sadly, this is one cause of conflict within the family. Parents who do not like their children’s choices nag and push about what they think is right. As children, we can’t take that away from our parents since they have lived longer that we did. They may have gone through it and knew what will happen. Then it made me think, what if I listened to everything that my parents want and do not want me to do, what will happen? As I picture it in my mind, it would be boring. Life would be dull. Yes! I know that it is the right thing to do. The percentage of experiencing the pain of wrong choices may be reduced astronomically but come to think of it, won’t life be a bore. There won’t be thrills, no mistakes, and no personal decision. One might turn out to be okay but when one looks closer; he will see the emptiness of life, naivety, and poor decision-making because all his life it was his parents who made the choice for him. our parents wants what is best for us, but what if what is best for them then is not what is best for us at this time? What will happen then? Life gives us the opportunity to learn from our mistakes and become better individuals. However, if we don’t commit mistakes will we really learn or will we be like robots who are programmed to do such and such without knowing why they’re doing it? I am not saying that we do not heed our parents words, but what I am saying is that parents should give us advice (and should stay as an advice and not a command) and leave the decision-making to their children. At least, if they do commit mistakes they won’t be able to point fingers at anyone but themselves. Let them learn their own lessons and make their own mistakes; in doing so, I strongly believe, that they will become better and mature individuals. “Maturity” isn’t gained by instructions but by experience like everything else in this world.

Sunee, after contemplating about Tong’s question, she answered,

“Choose what you think is best for yourself.”

– Sunee (Tong’s mother)